Today is a notable, celebratory, and slightly uneasy day for
me. It is the first day in 367 days on which I will not paint.
My official year of painting ended on Tuesday, but I found
myself automatically picking up the brushes both Wednesday and Thursday,
taking a giddy pleasure in the voluntary nature of these extra days. But this
morning I find myself on an airplane to New York City sans tinyExpanse painting
box. A twinge of separation anxiety accompanies my airborne sense of freedom.
This is a fitting day to look back over my year of painting.
The prevailing sentiment I feel is gratitude – gratitude that I was healthy and
privileged enough to paint for 367 days straight. Gratitude for those close to me who again and
again showed patience as I impulsively pulled out my painting box,
apologetically saying “I think this one will be quick.” Grateful for the
moments spent observing the beauty around me, especially when doing so in the
company of a friend or in a new and strange landscape. Grateful for the beauty
of transformation inherent in the passage of time. When I look back over these
367 paintings, each one triggers a memory for me – the quality of the day, the
thoughts in my mind at that moment, the people around me.
The great majority of this collection of memories is characterized
by joy. This was an amazing year, and the sad or difficult time capsules on
canvas are few and far between. My painting box and I traveled from the
desolate Owyhee Canyonlands in Idaho to the desolate interior of Iceland. From
the glow of autumn leaves in the alley behind my studio on Regan Avenue to the midsummer
glow of the sun bouncing along the horizon line at a lakehouse in Finland.
Boise, Blonduos, Brooklyn, Bozeman, Bear Tooths, Mazatlan, Mill Valley, Mount
Borah, Sun Valley, Sandpoint, Salt Lake, Golden, Nampa, Hudson River Valley, Helsinki.
How vastly diverse and beautiful are the landscapes of this globe which we call
home.
I am delighted to notice that this practice of creating a
small painting every day began and truly remained a practice of process rather
than product – the process of staying alert to the presence of beauty every
single day. (During the writing of this blog, I have witnessed the star-studded
sky transforming into a magical pink and blue sunrise symphony over a bed of
clouds. I challenge myself to allow the site to wash over me, at least for a
moment unfiltered by the language of paint). I know that this habit of
observation has sunk in deeply enough that I won’t need my paints to continue,
though I’m quite sure painting will always be my own, personal, most tangible
way of expressing my experience of the world.
And how wonderful that we each have our own way of
expressing our individual experience. We each find beauty in different ways,
find our hearts quickened by different impulses. As Rumi says, “Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” I believe it is each of our duty,
or perhaps simply opportunity, to share what we love about this world in the way
most suited and unique to ourselves. I thank every one who has taken a moment
to notice my own personal way of sharing my experience of beauty in the world.
Onward! As Shay would say.
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